By Abigail Price, Celebrant, Shoobridge Funeral Services

One of the special times in the day for me is listening to Pause for Thought on Radio 2 at around 7.30am each morning. I’m usually busy making breakfast for the children and emptying the dishwasher. I find normal morning chores are a great background when I want to reflect on something, and this three-minute perspective is always great for reflecting upon. 

And one such ‘thought’ last week was from a vicar called Jody Stowell. She was talking about the impending Mothering Sunday, or Mother’s Day, and the challenge that it always poses to her in church each year. 

She listed the different mothers who make up her congregation: those who are mothers, those who want to be mothers who are not, those who are mothers without their children, those who had good mothers, those who had bad mothers, those who do not want to be mothers, those who are missing their mothers, those whose fathers are their mothers. 

“So,” she asked. “With all these mothers, so diverse in their experience, how do we get it right?”

It is, indeed, a really tough day to get right. It is full of such joy for some people, such sorrow for others. And, for many, it is a combination of both extremes. I remember my cousin telling me, after her mum died tragically in a car crash, that it wasn’t her birthday that was the hardest day of the year, it was Mothering Sunday. 

Over the years, I’ve seen more of these awful circumstances. When my sister’s first baby was stillborn at 41 weeks, the first Mothering Sunday after that was horrendous. And in my work as a funeral celebrant, I am often working with people whose mothers have just died or, even more harrowingly, whose children have died. The world is full of so much sadness, every day. 

So how do we approach this weekend? 

As I was writing this blog, I saw a Facebook post from Exeter and Devon Crematorium. Thoughtful staff have dedicated their Letters to Heaven post box for anyone to send heartfelt messages, love, and memories to those mothers we love but no longer see. Whether it's a letter, a poem, or a simple note, they hope this gesture brings comfort and a sense of closeness. 

I think this is such a great idea. It acknowledges loss on a devastating scale and encourages the therapeutic exercise of writing; giving people a physical place to send their thoughts, feelings, regrets, even their news. A place for the words to go. Writing is a wonderful gift and deeply personal. 

I’m going to finish with another word from Jody Stowell, who spoke so movingly on Pause for Thought. We tend to think of God as father, but in the Bible there are many pictures of God as mother. And when we shift our thinking to God as mother, some wonderful images break on us to help us.

“God as Mother Eagle, who lifts us up on her wings and helps us fly; God as Mother Pelican who sacrifices herself for so we can live; God as Mother Hen who comforts us under her wing; God as Mother Bear who loves and protects us when we need it most.”

May the God of this wide and wonderful universe, father and mother, grant us all a peaceful and gentle Mothering Sunday weekend.